In Search of Rest

the image of love in

the mirror

turns...

into a whirlpool of desire

we cannot maintain our balance

and so we fall



was it love?

we are the fuel

and when we are gone

there is no flame



i became brilliant beneath the light of your love

i was alive

and only then was i alive



woven into tapestries of color and sound

where have you gone?



i look for you in every face

but i do not fall in love



i remain apart

one wing in an empty sky



somewhere inside

a woman moves

and at night she often dances

in perfect breath with me



this is the woman with whom i am truly close

this is the only woman



mother of God

sound and fury

silence absolute

beautiful beyond description

terrifying in full approach



the mind dissolves



"be still my child

no harm will come to you

strong men i bring them down

and suck them dry

but my child may dwell in safety"



i looked too hard and too long

i found her and now i cannot return



there is no dream of life that can be believed



there is only the vastness of space

the appearance of time

and the differing weight...



sometimes heavy

like the sorrow of a long past



sometimes light as an angels hand upon your shoulder

steering a course through the stormy heavens

and planetary wars fought in human form

until the last day



she is everywhere

in unseen miniature multiplied



in the air

the earth

the dancing flesh



she takes me in my sleep

flying up the long corridor to my bright home



why is it difficult to leave the fields of play?

here among the doomed flowers

the gravity of bones

the brief exhalation of life



young girls press the pulse

and draw the essence forth

into the raging holocaust

of passion rampant

on a field of blood



"i will protect you my child

i will wash the worlds of form from your heart

i will remove the sword above your head

i will teach you to dance

but you will dance for me alone"



it is the greatest heartbreak

the destruction of the false self

dreamed by the self

and revealed to the self

at separations end



the terror of mortal pain

the agony of life’s constant march



unending loss of everything



unending loss of everything



it hurts to be free

freedom is too much to bear

too difficult to accept



the luminous door appears

and the mind cries out for darkness



it slithers under floorboards and rocks

to hide from immortality



"i will protect you my child

i will hold you as yourself

we are woven as one

eternity and time

forget

forget

forget"




in a world where everything but truth dies

but which few see



in a world that begins and ends forever

that is the playground

for a mind magnetized by dust



in a world where everything is broken

no heart is safe



in a world of mostly water

for it is a world of mostly tears



in a world where love is crucified

no lie is safe



in a world of contrasts

of desperate flights

and measureless descent

where everything is written on

or built out of sand

that flows to the bottom of an all forgiving sea



in a world of waiting

and hoping

where every dream comes true

eventually

and then loses its meaning and disappears



in a world of rumors

and dying swans who mate for life

we move to and fro

in search of rest



impelled by need

in search of rest



tormented by flies and furies

in search of rest



burning in the long night

in search of rest



in search of rest



in search of rest



"i will protect you my child

i have built a garden of delight

it hangs iridescent in the air

it gleams in a drop of water

it spins in the living breath"



a love serene

the emptiness of mind



the holding of one



the mirror of light



the bloom of begotten-

worlds sent forth

in search of rest



in search of rest



in search of rest

Patrick Willis narrates:

In Search of Rest